To Slash or Oneshot?
by All-things
Summary: Summary: The team discovers FanFiction.  This is pretty much my view of fanfiction lingo.  Onshot.


Summary: The team discovers FanFiction. This is pretty much my view of fanfiction lingo.

A/N: Was I the only one who didn't understand the lingo everyone seems to use in their summaries when I first found FF? I mean, slash? Of course I know what that means now, but then, I had no clue. I had to learn from trial and error. I'm as straight as they come, so when I read slash stuff, not knowing what it was, I was pretty creeped out. But out of every bad thing comes some good, and I suppose this is the good that came from my first experience of FF. Enjoy.

Warning: this is unbetaed, so please forgive any and all mistakes.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or FanFiction, for that matter.

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To Slash or Oneshot?

Tony DiNozzo had never been as confused in his life as he was right now. He was leaning over McGee's shoulder to get a better look at what was displayed on the man's computer screen, Ziva unconsciously mirrored his actions at Tim's other shoulder. Tim didn't even seem to notice as he scrolled up and down the website page they were all looking at in puzzlement.

Yesterday, while on a case, Tim had stumbled across a website called FanFiction where you could write and post stories of varies movies, TV shows, play, books, etc. Tony had gotten bored, since they had finished that case this afternoon, and all they had to do was paper work. So, he decided to check it out, for curiosity's sake, of course. It hadn't taken him long to find out that they had a whole section dedicated to NCIS. Ecstatic, he clicked on it to see what people were writing about them. By then, he had told the others. Tim had looked it up on his computer and Ziva had joined him over at his desk. Gibbs wasn't there to tell them to get back to work, so eventually they all ended up at McGee's desk staring at his computer trying to make sense of the confusing lingo that everyone seemed to have in their summaries.

"Maybe it means 'violence'," Tony volunteered at Tim's left shoulder.

"That would make sense, since 'to slash' means 'to cut'. Maybe there is a sword fight inside the story?" Ziva said from her side of Tim.

"Why would there be a sword fight in the story? It's not like any of us know how to use a sword," Tim commented.

"I have some basic knowledge on swordsmanship," Ziva said proudly.

"Yeah, but who would you fight? We haven't had any sword wielding bad guys in a long time," Tony said sarcastically.

Ziva glared at him before turning back to the screen. Then she pointed at a word in one of the summaries. "What does 'oneshot' mean?"

"That the bad guy was killed with one shot? Or that the writer only had one shot to get it right?" Tony guessed.

Tim shifted so that he could look up at Tony. "Get it right before what?" he asked.

Tony made a slicing motion with his figure across his throat while making a "ccshhh" noise between his teeth. Tim rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer. Tony grinned. Picking on his friend like that amused him to no end.

"What are you all doing?"

Everyone's head snapped up to the sound of their boss' voice. He was looking at them expectantly as Tim sputtered an answer.

"Um, uh, we're…uh, looking at a website."

"A website?" Gibbs eyebrows rose.

"Yeah, it's…well, a website that has stories on it," Tony explained lamely.

"Stories?" Gibbs looked amused and annoyed at the same time.

"Yes, it has stories and some of them are about us, so…we…wanted to see what they are saying, about…us," Ziva tried to explain farther.

"About _us_?" Gibbs asked, this time with some surprise in his voice.

There was pause and Tony had this feeling like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Then Gibbs spoke. "So, what are they saying about us?"

Stunned, it took them awhile to get a coherent sentence out.

"We…don't know, boss," Tim finally said.

"What do you mean 'you don't know'? I thought you said you were looking at it?" Gibbs asked.

"The…phrases are hard to decipher," Ziva said.

"You mean it's in code?"

"No, it's just that…well, come see for yourself, boss," Tim said. They moved out of the way as Gibbs sat down in the chair McGee had just vacated.

"Okay, what am I looking at?" Gibbs inquired.

"Read this sentence," Tim said as he pointed to one of the many summaries on the page.

"'Gibbs gets a midnight visitor. Ducky/Gibbs slash, don't like, don't read.' Okay, so what does that mean?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out, boss," Tony said.

Gibbs eyes scanned the screen as Ziva continued. "We don't know what many of the words mean, such as 'whumping'. We also do not know what AU and OC mean either. Sometimes they say something about a challenge, but they never elaborate on what that means."

"Who's McNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"That's another thing, boss. These people keep coming up with names we've never heard of before, like Tiva, Jibbs, McAbby, Zabby, all these weird names that we don't know and yet they appear in more the one story," Tony complained.

"Yeah, and they're not even original," Tim commented from behind Gibbs.

"What do mean, McGee?" Gibbs turned his attention to their computer expert.

"Well, look. All this names are just different varieties of our own names. Like McAbby. They just took the first two letters of my name and put it in front of Abby's. Or Tiva, they replaced the Z in Ziva's name with a T from Tony's name."

"Yeah, you're right, McGee. Not very original," Tony agreed.

"What is this here?" Gibbs inquired while pointing at something on the screen.

"Romance, drama…I don't know. I guess it's the genre of the story," McGee said.

Gibbs scrolled down some and then snored. "Fornel. You mean they actually write stuff about the FBI? I thought you said this was about NCIS?"

Tony looked at the others. "Yeah, well, we haven't figured that out either."

"You don't seem to have a lot figured out," Gibbs commented. He got up from the chair walked out from behind McGee's desk. "If you three have nothing better to do, how 'bout you finish that paperwork."

A chorus of 'yes, boss,' and 'yes, Gibbs,' rang out as the trio went back to their desks and began to work.

After a few minutes, Tony looked up to see the others consumed with their paperwork and not paying any attention to him. He looked back to his computer screen and opened a new tab. Typing in the address for the new website, he easily found his way back to the FanFiction NCIS page. Brow frowned in confusion; he started trying to work out the lingo when he heard his boss address him.

"Hey, DiNozzo! Stop wasting time on that stupid website and get back to work."

~The End~


End file.
